The Dogfather
ANYWAYS...
That post got really fucking long. Cheers to everyone who contributed to the epicness that is My Immortal quotations. Sorry to everyone who thinks we're insane and wanted a legitimate conversation. The problem is, our brains were already turned to mush.
MCR ROX!!!!!!111
Okay, as a reward for your extreme and awesome patience...
Excerpt.
They pushed through into the kitchen, a large, clean hall that seemed to be carved entirely out of white stone. Lily marveled, walking along one edge of the rectangular room, unconsciously gliding her fingers across the countertop. Several crystal orbs provided the light (in addition to a series of high, narrow windows), levitating near the ceiling; they did not remain stationary, like muggle lights, but drifted around, like a dozen, slow-moving fireflies.
There were two house elves in the room, and one was occupied at a giant sink; he was closest to the door, and it was to this elf that Sam addressed himself. The other sat closer to the back, at a small wooden table in the corner at the opposite end of the hall. The table could not have been designed for house elves, in that—though relatively petite—the item seemed human-sized, and yet Lily had a hard time fathoming that the sort of meals that must be prepared in a kitchen like this could ever be consumed at such a comparatively inelegant piece of furniture.
“Hello,” Lily greeted the house elf there. The elf sat at the table, her legs dangling off the chair, while sipping a tall glass of something brown and atrocious smelling.
The creature looked up at her with large, eerie green eyes. “Good afternoon, Miss Evans!” she squeaked.
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Did you just... how did you...?”
“Lily!” interrupted Sam’s voice, from across the kitchen. “Twitchet says they’re in the Blue Room.”
ohrightthatslikethemostboringexcerptever...
Because you basically forced me.
The true continuation of the LAST excerpt I gave you the other day...
"...how she looked there...what the tears did for the color of her eyes and in her cheeks... how he wanted so desperately not to care... not to want her at all..."
Told you it was sentimental.
And.... It gets worse.
Have a lovely Saturday!
Love,
Jules/Albert
Aw, James is so naive. Thinking he can get over Lily... PSH!
ReplyDeleteAnd it seems like there's tons of things going on in this next chapter.. o.O Can't wait!! :)
Oh Samaro, you cutie ;) Okay, I'm done referencing. I swear. Probably.
ReplyDeleteYay for shippy-ness! :)
ReplyDeleteyou can never go back, Kelsey. You will always ship Lumpkin/Snap +Dobby and spell everything wrong, except sometimes by accident.
ReplyDelete"Samaro" makes my fucking life.
Fuck, Albert. Just when I stopped crying like a little bitch over that spoiler, you post this excerpt ='|
ReplyDeletei luv dat pikturr!!1111111111
ReplyDeleteOkay. I am seriously done now. Seriously.
And AWWWW. James is the most adorable member of the male species ever to grace to fiction world.
Also, Snorlax=WIN.
Gosh it's nice to read some real writing....30 chapters into My Immortal and I didn't even think twice when this happened:
ReplyDelete"Crosio! I shited pointing my wound. Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious."
*head-desk*
James=love
cannot wait for the new chapter!!
okay, if she had the mobile that whole time, why was there all that drama where she remembered that she had vampire telepathy?
ReplyDeleteAlso, did we really call them "mobiles" in 2006?
Okay, swear to Darth Valer, no one answer that. Any of it. Do not let me go on.
I am STILL concerned about the fact the she THREW HER WAND AT SNAP/SNOOP/SEOIRUHLBJ1 rather than just using magic.
ReplyDeleteBrainfunction. Please.
the characters are mixing so badly in my head. Snap and Snake are like ONE.
ReplyDeleteI have no idea whats going on in this story and its not in a cool Inception kinda way....
Snap and Snake were supposed to be the same person. Right?
ReplyDeleteYes, but 'Severus' sometimes means Sirius/Serious/Sodomy/Spartacus
ReplyDeleteAnd Hades, don't forget. XD
ReplyDeleteI'm actually worried for my IQ.
ReplyDeleteI.really.don't.even.
I'm not gonna lie. I am so confused right now.
ReplyDeleteCan someone tell me what the hell "Kawaii" means? cause its been used in so many ways and my brain is not even entertaining the thought of trying to figure it out.
ReplyDeleteLindsay... I wish I could explain... and yet....
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=kawaii
Actually, Lindsay, just go down to the post before this one and that pretty much explains it all.
ReplyDeleteI just don't know about reading 264 comments on the last post. I'll stay conf used. Oh well thats what I get for going out and having a life for once... On another note I'm having trouble finding a good book to read at the moment any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteSuggestions? Um, yes.
ReplyDeletehttp://myimmortalrehost.webs.com/chapters122.htm
Maybe I am an awful person. But... no, I definitely am. (explanation of sorts: http://encyclopediadramatica.com/My_Immortal)
Also, I'm reading Moliere at the moment. Plays, but I'm enjoying them.
WAIT. chapter 39 was downright the best thing i've read in my life.
ReplyDeletealso,it cannot be that easy to hack ff.com....
Secret Daughter by Shilpi Somaya Gowda is what I'm reading right now. It's really good :)
ReplyDeleteFINALLY FINISHED.
ReplyDeleteat least there was a moral to the story....sometimes you have to do "impotent" things like kill dark lords even though what you really want to do is watch "Shark Attak 3"
I think that the whole thing was fake. Especially the 'hacking' thing... how is that possible? Unless Tara was stupid enough to give her password away... but that would mean that she actually had to have existed, and wasn't an invention of someone making a joke...
ReplyDeleteJust finished reading it. I think my brain is about to explode but I've never laughed so hard in my life...
ReplyDeleteI think she was just a clever troll because the alternative is wayy too horrible to think about- that someone is actually that dumb and has sick fantasies like that.
~C
Yeah so I really tried to read it, but I couldn't get past the second chapter. I cannot even comprehend why someone would post that to ff.com
ReplyDeletehttp://nooooooooooooooo.com/
Okay, for those who have read My Immortal....my abs literally hurt this morning, and I'm PRETTY sure it's because I laughed so hard last night reading that!!!!
ReplyDeleteAlso, Kayla (several posts up): I think the best part of the 'throwing the wand' bit is that it says "I threw my WOUND at them...."
At one point - Harry AKA Vampire pointed his WOMB and Snape and Loopin! WOMB!!
ReplyDeleteBut no - anon 5:23 and C: I TOTALLY agree. The whole thing is fake. Tara is not a stupid, dyslexic thirteen-year-old at all, but a rather clever troller. NO WAY is it possible to consistently spell every sigle person's name wrong. I mean, 'Sodomise'??? No... just no.
"Lumpkin" just kills me everytime :):):)
ReplyDeleteOkay, I am SERIOUSLY done talking about it now. God, you're right, Jules, it is a disease!!!
@Kelsey, yes! I found that hilarious as well.
ReplyDeleteAlso, @Lindsay a while back I ADORE Revenge of the Rose by Nicole Galland and The Princess Bride by William Goldman is my all time favorite book--the movie is no comparison.
Jules--My Immortal is consuming my mind. I had a dream about it last night. Not okay.
I have got to stop posting comments, but funfact: I created a character weeks and weeks ago for my story (she hasn't made an appearance yet, so I can still fix this if I so choose) named Professor Elvira. She's the Divination professor before Trelawney. Well, in Raven (aka, Tara's friend-thing)'s story, she gave Tara a cameo and her name is ELVIRA. whatthefuckimonthesamebrainwavesasaretard.
ReplyDeleteAAAH KAYLA I LOVE THE PRINCESS BRIDE
ReplyDeleteThe book is amazing. I love the backgrounds of the characters. So good.
... and I'm going to attempt to read one chapter of My Immortal. One. No more. I had never heard of it, but obviously I have to try and I'm SCARED.
Then I'll read some LAT to get back into normal HPland. YAY
-Bug
Bug--YES! Princess Bride FTW.
ReplyDeleteAs for My Immortal, is seriously just gets better and better. You sort of get used to the horrid spelling and grammar, and then it's just amusing.
Fun fact: Last night my friend was spamming my Facebook wall with My Immortal quotes. We laughed and cried together. Right then, my friend updates his status with "Friday Night Fights- Yeah!" and I commented "I love Garrett Hedlund in that." Yes, I thought he had written "Friday Night Lights". My Immortal has made me dyslexic.
ReplyDeleteHelloooo (:
ReplyDeletethe last excerpt is just so cute (:
but i came across something on tumblr, and i was like "Holy shit this reminds me of TLAT on halloween" when James and Lily became friends :D
anyways...
in this link is a picture and it reminds me of james lying down on one of the great hall tables smoking (:
http://writtenonthewind.tumblr.com/post/2550817826
---Lauren (:
"James Franco: Part-time actor, full-time troll and film school attendee."
ReplyDeleteFULL-TIME TROLL
LOL
I wish I could read some of the reviews My Immortal originally got. Not all 10000... but, y'know, some... I bet it would have been a laugh, but I guess I'll never know.
ReplyDeleteDoes anyone know what is the most reviews a fic has ever gotten? 'Cos I don't think there would be any beating 10000 in just 40-odd chapters.
actually i heard there is a twilight story that reaced over 56000. but i think i heard the fic was removed by the author because she copyrighted it and wanted to sell it.
ReplyDelete"full time troll" LOL.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous 2:18--some of the reviews are on the encyclopedia dramatica article.
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/My_Immortal#IT.27S_OVER_10.2C000.21.21
well, now I'm completely anst-y and crazed. Thanks a lot hombro.
ReplyDelete..and yes, I did just type hombro.
Night ruined cause The King's Speech showtime was sold out BUT I now will have exactly 95 minutes of JGL to look forward to :-))
Happy writing/vacationing/MyImmortal-ing.
-Charlie
PS: does anyone else think that if Gerald Way read My Immortal he would be so supremely digusted?
^500 Days of Summer? Love that movie ;)
ReplyDelete^ I don't actually know who Gerard Way is, even though I was told several times by Tara to get da fuk out of 'here' for that... and after reading My Immortal, I still don't know. I just know that he's really schmexxy. Is he the one that gave Draco an erection when they went to see him in concert?
ReplyDeleteCompletely random and unrelated, but I just had a thought: Why did Peter continue to go by Wormtail after he joined Voldemort? You would think that it would a little... masochistic to allow people to call you by the same nickname that the best friends you betrayed once did.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.emoboyfriend.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/gerard-the-gay-way.jpg
ReplyDeleteLead singer of My Chemical Romance.
Good point, Kayla. I dunno, but it sounds like a really good one shot idea.
"I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie."
ReplyDeleteSo she wants to be related to someone she finds attractive...?
@Bree-ikr? INCEST.
ReplyDelete@Jule-Yeah, you should write one. CAUSE YOU'RE TOTALLY AWESOME. Except that would take time away from LaT, so nevermind. XD
Jules* OH NO. I've started dropping the last letter of peoples' names. Snap does not sound nearly as cool as Snape. This is not okay. O_O
ReplyDelete^ LOL Kayla!
ReplyDeleteFUN FACT-- okay, so you know how when everyone first started reading the HP books, there was inevitably SOME character whose name we, as a group largely comprised of children, did not know how to pronounce? Hermione, Sirius.... common enough, right?
ReplyDeleteMy friend, who is one of the biggest HP fans I know and started reading the books in like... '97, pronounced "Snape" as "Snap" for NO APPARENT REASON. She is now a 20 year old BA (bachelor of arts, not badass... although, also that =P) with some fantastic internships and more than one campaign on her resume... and she still calls him "Snap." Like, she KNOWS it's "Snape" but she's been calling him "Snap" for over ten years..... that habit ain't kicking itself. I die laughing every time. Girl's also a H/Hr shipper, though, so.... just kidding... no hate. =)
Hahahahahaha. That's hilarious. I have the hardest time with Scrimgeour. And I LOVE in AVPS when Lucius calls Draco Drahhko. Also, all of the things Harry and Ron come up with for Hermione.
ReplyDelete"You said my name!"
ReplyDelete"What? Just now? What did I say?"
paraphrasing, but WIN.
YES. Oh my gosh. Herman. Herm-ee-1. Best things ever.
ReplyDeleteHermononucleosis
ReplyDeleteHermano!
ReplyDeleteHermananana!
Hermono!
ReplyDeleteHermaninoid!
ReplyDeleteHermama!
Hermanabo!
ReplyDeleteHermu!
Herman-monster
ReplyDeleteThough I have to say I absolutely DIE laughing everytime I watch the "Hey guys, who invited Boo Radley ?" part.
YES! And the part when Snape shrieks and thinks that she's a troll.
ReplyDeleteI almost just wrote Snap. o_O
"AH night troll!"
ReplyDelete"I'm not a night troll, I'm a little girl!"
^although that's Ron's part, not Snape's. But still.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read the first book in grade 3, I pronounced McGonagall "Mick-gawn-gal" for some reason.
ReplyDeleteAnd how is Accio pronounced? Akkio? Axio? Ashio?
I think it's Ak-ee-oh.
ReplyDeleteI definitely said "assio" but I think you're right, Kayla.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I think I read Sirius as "Syrus" because I refused to believe that someone would be named after an emotion ;)
I always pronounced it "serious". Mostly because me and my best friend in middle school would giggle at the prospect of his middle name being "Lee".
ReplyDeleteI think there's a part in the fifth book where there's a "Sirius said seriously" thing, and I grin everytime.
ReplyDeletebtw--sweater JGL on your tumblr, Bree =)
ReplyDeleteAs Tara would say, I wish I was related to him because he's a major fucking hottie.
WHY TARA WHY?!?!
jules fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of jgl but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom
ReplyDeleteFOK U BRE! UR A FOKILG POSR AN I HAT U BITCH JGL WUD NVR LIK A POSR SLUT LIKE U!!!!!!!1111
ReplyDeleteJULS U SUK U FUKEN BICH!!!!!111 SATAN MAD ME MOAR BUEATIFULL DAN U!!!!!111 JASON LEVIT GORFON WULD SO SCREW ME1111
ReplyDeleteHER NIAM IS JUSTIN UR SO STUOPOID OAR YUD NO DAT SEZ YU ODNT EVEHN NAW HIS NAM PREIP I FUCLKINNG HAWTERDEN U
ReplyDelete(i'm just hitting the keyboard now)
LOL. You guys!
ReplyDeleteNAHH WE R GOING 2 DA GC CONCERT AN HIS TECHING MUH JAPNESE!!! UR NOT INDICTED CUZ UR NT A REEL GOFFIC U PREP BICH
ReplyDelete(that was so hard to type. If she's a troll, props for the effort)
u dint evne no GC b4 i tld u prollu lik dat bitc ashlee simson an lindsy lonah!!!!!!!111 666 RULZ!!!!!1 (geddit? cuuuz ima real goffik gurl breez a prep!!!!11111)
ReplyDeleteI just saw the Albert thing in your tagline. SO FUNNY. :'D
ReplyDeletewateva julz lyk dat posr justan beaver an ai toll jgl abt dat and he got a dude-ur-so-retarded lock on his fais all depresingly an wtf julz ur supsd 2 rit dis
ReplyDeletexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx666xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
kaylah julz is pissen me of dat posrr won give meh ma sweetr bak!!!
ReplyDeletefangz cailluh!
ReplyDeleteU DON HAV ANEE OTHOR FACTERS BRIE!
(lol I spelled Kayla more wrong than you did!)
ReplyDeletei don hev ut swetr u bich! an i wnt hep u wif ur sotry nemoar. ur jus a fukin pozer!!!!111111
ReplyDeleteJOOLZ STOP BEAN SO TRIUMELEPHANT CUZ AI WON DIZ FAIGHT SEXILY!!!
ReplyDeletenu-uh!!11111111 Joolz wux TOTly selectively pontificating!!111
ReplyDeleteAslo ur nams arent goffik! if u wer a troo goff, u wud hav a nam lyk Eboby Barness Alzheimer's !!111
ReplyDeleteKAILA YOU POSR BEACH AY HOPE DEY STAB U WIF A STEAK AN DAT DEY NAIL UR COFFING SHUT U HORE!!!11111
ReplyDeleteAT LEEST DA HOTT BY BOIZ LYK MII! DEY CAN TEL UR JUT A POZERR!!!1111 U DON EVN SHOPIU @ HOTT TPOK!11111
ReplyDeletebries jus jelus lol GLJ wud nvr dat hur ann sehs such a stoopid prep pasteur lol
ReplyDeleteppl cull me bloody knife death dealer rose now cuz i lik 2 drunx blood!!!11 But.......................
btw u can call me albert
mai nam is onix breeze rose common cold madden but da goffz cal me bree!!!!1111111
ReplyDeletemi nam iz moonstone epilrpsy cardigan wentz!! (geddit, cuz peet wentx is a hott goff!!11)
ReplyDeleteim nt aktally relatd to hm, BUT i WIsh i wuz coz hees sooo hiott!
ReplyDeletewull i AMMM rulaahted 2 mih so der
ReplyDeletean derz an esserpt an nonn-spewlers poshted
ReplyDeletejoolz ai jus see ur pst oh mah satan ur soppsd 2 rit maor
ReplyDeletei gree wif nix breeze rose common cold madden.
ReplyDeleteim waiten fur 5 gud revoiws!
ReplyDeleteprepz b flamen
ReplyDeletewel datz nut gon hapen!1111 ur stiree sux!! ur such a fukin pozer!! i bat ur reel nam iznt evnb bdolly niife!
ReplyDeletei bet u don evna knoo whuoi amy LEE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111
ReplyDeletewut da fuk!!111 i bet u lizzen tpo abril laveen11111
ReplyDeleteaslo, i AM fukin amee lii.
kailo is jus a prep jolez dont lissen to her ur riting rox lyk mcr!
ReplyDeletebriieie si such ah fukin PREEP. SHE STOL MII SWETR ANDF BLAAAMDE IT UN MII@!
ReplyDeleteOGM KAYALA WTF??!!! DAT SWEETR WAS MINES AI BUGHT IT WIT MAH HOT TOPIC REWRDZ CARDE U BICH!!
ReplyDeleteya u proly stoal ur owhn sweathor!
ReplyDeleteAND THEM ONIX GUT SHOTT WIV A GUN BII SLUTBORN AND DIID!! (A/N FUK YU BRIEIE! FUK U!(
ReplyDeleteu guise r gedden mi all depressedly i nid mah steak to cut my rists but that hore kaylela stsle dat 2
ReplyDeletebut eef u kut ur rissts, ull justy go bak in tyme!@! u hafg to git mii somfink to cur my adikkon to volxxemitserujm!!111
ReplyDeletevampyre blud and bisezxuality
ReplyDeletedat weel cur mee? wiil it du it sexily????
ReplyDeleteit will do itt suiskydally
ReplyDeletekull. (geedddot?)
ReplyDeleteYPOIU NEED SUM!!
welasdf lkwerul kullies ijerufl awekrju 666!!!!!11
ReplyDelete6666666666666666!111111111111kjd lf
ReplyDeletePREPZ BE HATEN.
(that last post by me was just gibberish)
ReplyDeletefukin posernessrex
(yeah, i was going for the whole "there must be other factors!" vibe in mine. it made no sense)
ReplyDeleteu LYJK HILKEU DORK!!
NuT KAWAII
(My head hurts and typing like this is getting alarmingly easier. Should I be worried?)
ReplyDeletewull do u wersip stan bcuz i du!!!!11
ReplyDelete666 <-- c!!!11
(Same. It's much easier to type when it doesn't matter what keys you hit. Haha.)
ReplyDelete(Also, that Dogfather picture still makes me laugh every time I refresh the page.)
(I need to go to bed. Haha)
Uhh.. PoooserrrzZ?
(bree, you will soon begin to think in tara-speak)
ReplyDelete(I like how our real conversation has to take place in parenthesis.)
ReplyDelete(All right. I'm just gonna hit my head against the keyboard, okay?)
ReplyDeleteAbout three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him - and I didn't know how dominant that part might be - that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally, irrevocably in love with him.
Hahahahahahahahahaha. WIN.
ReplyDeleteLOLZ TWILIGHT
ReplyDeleteThat is probably the funniest thing anyone has said on this post. Or ever.
ReplyDeleteclose second, at least.
ReplyDeleteTHERE MUST BE OTHER FACTORS!
YOU DONT HAVE ANY!
ReplyDeleteOh man. It's clove.
ReplyDeleteclose* wtf.
ReplyDelete**SOB** WELL NOT ALL OF US INHERITED ENOUGH MONEY TO BUY OTHER FACTORS!
ReplyDelete(OHMYGOD CROSSOVER!)
MY OTHER FACTORS WILL TAKE ME....................................................................................................TO PIGFARTS.
ReplyDeleteOMG JULES. YOU WIN THE INTERNET.
ReplyDeleteI WANT... HERMIONE GRANGER!
ReplyDeleteAND OTHER FACTORS.
^^yes!
ReplyDeleteBACK TO VAMPIRES AND SATANIST AND BI HOUSE ELF SEX! TO HOT TOPIC AND CONCERTS AND MASTICATED TEXT! IT'S ALL THAT I LULZ AND IT'S ALL THAT I NEED! AT PIGFARTS! PIGFARTS!
ReplyDelete^ OMFG.
ReplyDeleteI AM DEAD. SEE YOU IN THE AFTERLIFE (geddit?)
Hahahaha. BUT WE'LL ALL BE DRESSED AS PREPZ!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!1111
ReplyDeleteguess what..............................................................................b'loody mary can't draw.
ReplyDeletelumkpin can't sing.
ReplyDeleteand omg, the scarf of sexual orientation was sort of right about diabolo!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahah!!!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd Quirrelmort finally has a place where it belongs!
"I'll pretend I'm at the Valentine's Day Feel-er-up Dance and the boys can't keep their hands off me!"
ReplyDelete"Hey, who knows, maybe that's a thought we can make happen! I'm kidding... or am I! You decide."
She was right about Loopin being a perv.
"Welcome to Pigfarts. My name is Professor RUMBLEROAR, but you can call me Rumbleroar. You could call be Albert if you wanted detention.
ReplyDeleteJUST KIDDING. I'll expell you if you call me Albert."
^ LOL. TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE.
ReplyDeleteomfg. BEST CROSSOVER EVER.
ReplyDeleteJules, I bow to your totally awesome mind powers.
I know. It's SUCH A CURSE!!!!!!!!!!11
ReplyDelete"He put his thingy in my you-know-what."
ReplyDeleteThingy = RED VINE.
im sorry i tuk ur efron poster, raven!!!
ReplyDeletei llost it, butt i gut yu dis ahsly tiddle pozter insted!!11
ReplyDeleteOk, siriusly. I need to go to bed. So I'm just going to grab Drahhhko and we'll head to my coffin (geddit? coz im goffik??)
ReplyDeleteIt's quite good, actually. Can I... wait... I'll take it! I took your favorite MCR poster! What do you think of that?
ReplyDeleteoh, I so do too. Goodnight all!
ReplyDeleteBite!! (geddit? -_-)
ReplyDeleteSuckers (geddit? coz ur vampz?)! It's not even midnight here. Maybe I should try (and fail) to sleep, though.
ReplyDelete'Night!
OH MY GOD LAUGHING SOOOOO HARD RIGHT NOW!!!!! Damn, I always miss all the good conversations.....
ReplyDelete@Kelsey: twice, actually:
ReplyDeleteYes, 500 days of Summer. I just ADORE the ending. "Hey, I'm Tom." "Hey, I'm Autumn!"
;-))
Annnd, The Boo Radley line KILLS me. Or whenever Lupin says, "You think Sirius was your dad's best friend? ..did your dad..tell you that?"
Harry: um, well I haven't really talked to him much..