Sunday, March 6, 2011

Another Deleted Scene

This one is possibly my favorite, but after having written it, I decided to change the structure of the chapter (Chapter 26, "The Wedding"), so, as sad as I was to lose the "Horatio" storyline and a renewed Beatles debate, this had to go. They are having the very same debate that we had on this thread a few days ago, because, if you remember, in Chapter 26, there's the scene where the Marauders and the girls (sans Lily) are arguing over which of the girls is which Beatle; this was meant to be a continuation.

So, this takes place after everyone stops by to pick up Lily, following Petunia's wedding.
Lily’s half full mug came clattering down upon the table, more for emphasis than anything else. 
“Okay, you lot are full of it. James is Lennon, Sirius is McCartney, Remus is Harrison, and Peter’s Ringo! End of story! 
 “I just think Sirius should be John!” argued Mary, folding her arms. “He’s more...”  
“Handsome and tormented?” suggested Sirius.  
“Pretentious,” retorted Marlene. 
 Everyone laughed, and Remus got to his feet. “I’m getting more drinks—have this resolved by the time I’m back.” The Marauder moved through the thick crowd of the smoky pub—their third that night—to fetch another round of beer. The other seven, meanwhile, sat crammed into a large booth. This particular establishment had been chosen by Sirius and James, who seemed to be some breed of experts and insisted that so long as they were hopping, this ought to be a stop.
“He’s really right,” James observed, regarding Remus’s remark. “I think we might have argued this one to death.”  
“Because Lily can’t let a conversation end until everyone involved has admitted that she is right,” said Mary, smirking.  
“Shut up!” protested Lily, but she was almost laughing herself. 
“I am perfectly willing to admit defeat on the rare occasion that I’m in the wrong!”  
“Which is why you should just admit that Potter is McCartney, and Black is Lennon already,” said Donna, who had sided with Mary for this argument.  
“He is n...” 
“Can we please talk about something else?” moaned Marlene, smacking her forehead with the palm of her hand. “I am so bored with—Oh-my-God-that-woman-has-purple-hair!” She dissolved into a fit of giggles, and Donna reached around Lily to smack Marlene’s arm. 
 “Not so loud, Price! She’ll hear! Marlene was a little further along than the others with regards to alcohol consumption. Even still, no one else, apart from Donna, seemed bothered by their friend’s audibility. 
Sirius grinned. “Keep it up, Price. Maybe you’ll be the one to get us thrown out of here.” 
 “The one?” echoed Lily. “Do you often get thrown out of pubs?”  
“Are you joking?” asked Peter. “These two?” He jabbed his thumb at James and Sirius. “That’s what they do to pass the time.” 
Smirking, Lily turned to James for verification, for he was the nearest Marauder to her, sitting just to Marlene’s right. 
 “Well, sure,” said James, shrugging. “It’s good for the heart to get thrown from a place every now and then.” 
“I’ve never been thrown out of anywhere,” Lily observed idly, as Remus returned with a whole tray of drinks. “Except a wedding of course...” she added with a hint of bitterness that went largely—though not universally—unnoticed, for the others all reached for a bottle at that moment and were thus distracted. 
James frowned. He deliberated for a moment, and then said: “Well, that settles it; drink up everyone. We’ve got no choice now.” 
“What are you talking about?” asked Remus warily, as Mary scooted along the bench to make room for him again. 
 James ignored the inquiry, addressing Sirius instead: “What d’you think, Padfoot? ‘Horatio’ maybe?” 
“Merlin, no!” cried Remus at once. “No Horatio. Not that, please!  
Peter, however, seemed oppositely enthused. “No, do it! It’s one of my favorites!”  
“One of your favorite whats?” Donna demanded, but she, too, went unanswered.  
“Horatio, huh?” mused Sirius, the beginnings of a grin appearing on his handsome face. “We haven’t done that in over a year.” 
“Prongs almost broke his nose last time!” pleaded Remus. 
“Prongs did break his nose last time,” corrected James, touching said nose gingerly at the recollection. “But it was worth it.” 
“What was worth what?” Lily wanted to know. “And who or what is ‘Horatio?’” 
Marlene giggled at the name.  
“Just finish your drinks, and you’ll see,” James advised.  
Prongs,” Remus implored his friend; “please... it’s so embarrassing...” 
“But, Moony,” said Sirius, “it’s been over a year! We have to inaugurate the summer somehow, don’t we?” The three Marauders looked earnestly to the fourth, who, at last, threw his head back against his seat in resignation. 
Fine. But we’re paying the tab first.” 
 Fine,” said Sirius.  
“And you three,” Remus added to the other wizards at the booth, “are covering my portion of it.” 
“Before you do anything,” said Donna. “You had better explain what this ‘Horatio’ business is.” 
Sirius and James only exchanged enigmatic smirks. “Trust us; you’ll laugh.”
This was sort of reincarnated in Chapter 28 though. "Horatio" is a different version of "Twelve Punches." =P

27 comments:

  1. Was this excerpt taken out, and in it's place is the circle drinking game? This is an amazing piece! I wish I could see the following sequence of events.

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  2. No, there was supposed to be both. This part was taken out because it didn't *work* with the chapter. It divided the chapter weirdly, making the last section of the chapter too long; I can't explain it, except that it made the flow really weird.

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  3. I love how your dialogues are so natural. The way you portray each character is so realistic and believable. You are such a wonderful writer.
    Are there any excerpts from Chap31, Jules? :)

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  4. Oh man, I love these. Personally, I actually prefer them to 31 excerpts, I like the surprise. But, I mean, those really aren't bad either. :)

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  5. AHHH 2 deleted scenes! you spoil us Jules :) I love this one! I hope you had a good crazy weekend!

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  6. So, what exactly do 'Horatio,' 'Twelve Punches' and 'White Rabbit' involve? Or will we be finding out in the future?

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  7. I think your biggest strength as a writer is your character development. Every character, even your OC's, is interesting and developed extremely well so that we get a good sense of who he/she is as a person. Not only that, but you write dialogue that's actually believable! I HATE it when I read fanfics and the dialogue is so ridiculous and pre-teen-sounding, meaning no teenager on the cusp of adulthood would be talking like that. This lovely discussion of The Beatles proves my point, because I know I've had many conversations with friends that sound like that.

    So thank you, thank you, THANK you for being so wonderful. Please post chapter 31 soon!

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  8. James is TOTALLY Lennon because that would make Lily Yoko! Or maybe Carlotta in this case since the rest of the Marauders know she is all wrong for James.

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  9. @1134, lol, why on earth would you WANT Lily to be Yoko? I'd much rather Lily be Linda.

    @Kelsey,
    maybe we'll find out. It wouldn't be any fun to just spell it out here, though =P

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  10. @11:34 why in the world would you want to picture Lily as Yoko? As in the one who broke up the band. Totally not Lily

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  11. @1:26, Lily is of course cooler than Yoko, but case in point:
    Lily and James get married, Peter goes to the death eaters and Sirius and Remus suspect each other of betrayal.

    Lily in fact seems to have broken up the band.

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  12. In fact, in that scenario, it seems that Voldemort is Yoko.

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  13. Wtf? Lily and James getting married did not ~cause the Marauders to split up. It looks like she was actually friends with them - unlike Yoko, who Paul, Ringo and George hated.

    Agree with Jules - Voldemort broke up the band. Not Lily. How can you say that?

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  14. I always imagined that the other Marauders would have called Yoko when she and James started dating. I can totally picture Sirius calling her Yoko Ono because James is spending less time with his friends and all that...

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  15. Yeah, just cos you can imagine it happening doesn't mean it happened. Fact is, we know from the letter in DH that Sirius and Lily were friends, and they both seemed quite close. In an interview JKR said that James, Lily and Harry were the three people Sirius loved most. I'm sorry, but I don't really see your argument.

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  16. Hehe @4:04's Yoko/ Lily mix up.

    I don't think the above comment was saying Lily was like Yoko in character, but more in circumstance.

    Yes, Lily maintained a good relationship with the Marauders, obviously unlike Ono, but she does mark a distinct change in the course of the boys' lives.

    Lily and James' marriage is a milestone as an end of immaturity and irreverence. James is no longer a marauder-- he's all grown up. And when we grow up, the friendships of our youth become strained, as we lose touch with what brought is together in the first place. Such is life.

    However, this change was always going to happen as they graduated Hogwarts to enter into a freaking war... but whatever.

    So Lily is not Yoko. She was friends with all the boys, but the Marauders were falling apart post Hogwarts. She may not have been the cause, but it she would have been a factor.

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  17. Looool this argument is quite funny. Although I am feeling a little offended for Lily. I mean, being compared to Yoko is just... I mean, no.

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  18. I'm playing devil's advocate right now. Personally I agree with Mary/Donna. Sirius is Lennon. ;)

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  19. @ 2:46 Lily might have been a new thing in the group because none of the others had had a serious girlfriend/future-wife before (or at all--at least for a loooong time in Remus' case) but she had none of the effect that Yoko had.

    I seriously doubt the group was really broken up at all. I mean leaving school causes separation anyway because they wouldn't see each other every single day, Lily just happened to come in at that time to be a new addition to James' life. But Marauders are Marauders and they never broke up...until the whole James dying, Peter going bad etc. etc. thing
    So, all of the things that you suggested have nothing to do with Lily. As Jules said, they all come down to Voldemort

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  20. soo Voldemort and Sirius are getting married?

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  21. "James is no longer a Marauder"....What? No, no no no. Once a Marauder, always a Marauder. The end.

    But I will say the "milestone as an end of immaturity and irreverence" made me LOL a lot ;)

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  22. No wonder Remus was suspicious lol

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  23. No Lily is not Yoko. IMO

    I have to say that James is Paul, Lily is Linda, Sirius is definitely John .... but Carlotta is still Yoko. I actually have nothing against Yoko and I think she gets a bad rap unfairly but it terms of "the girl who comes in and puts a lot of strain on the group" that's totally going to be Carlotta.

    Justine

    Ps, I don't think Voldy and Siri would work out. I mean, Tom is very career oriented, very type A. Sirius is the jokester burnout biker who sleeps all day. They would make great roommates though. The Odd Couple: Hogwarts Edition.

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  24. Justine, I think you're confusing Sirius with Quirrell.

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